Sunday, April 29, 2007

Beer

I was in the car with a relative tonight heading to the mountains for some tea and hookah when a guy on a moped rode up next to me on the passenger side. My window was rolled down and he bent down and peered in (not looking at the road, but hey, who does?) and said in a thick Shirazy accent "Do you all want some beer?" Um.... I started to say no but my relative, who was driving said, "What is the percentage?" The guy on the moped fell back behind the car and zoomed onto the driver's side (mind you, we are driving during this whole exchange) and responded "5 percent. Heineken. 24 pack for 60,000 toomans ($60)." Apparently this was a good deal so my relative told the moped guy to follow us into a side street so we could do the exchange more privately.

"Now, you're positive this is 5%" asked my relative. The moped guy assured him it was good. They proceeded to haggle and the price came down to 55,000 toomans and my relative told the guy to wait in front of this house because one of his friends wanted to buy a 24 pack also. We gave the guy the money and he quickly put it into the trunk of the car. We also got his cell phone number for future alcohol endeavors. We programmed his number and saved his name as "Booz Amin." Then we drove off while he waited to make his next sale to the friend.

All of a sudden, my relative stopped the car and went to the trunk and brought a beer to the front. It was not a Heineken. It was called "Oettinger." On the can the word "Alkoholfrei" was written in lovely, large, cursive letters. Alcohol free.

We tried to track the guy down and he was gone. We called and he said, in that same thick Shirazy accent, "Sorry, you got the wrong number." And so it goes!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I realize that Iranians don't really imbibe, but is it really that hard to find alcohol, even in big cities?

Also, what is the punishment for having alcohol?

And finally, and perhaps most obvious, how come no one checked the beer before it was transfered to the trunk?

miss you, ally